DIARY

i have this little camera.
i can't remember the name of it or where it came from.
i found it in my stuff a few years ago
and i take it with me most places
even bars and water parks.
it's plastic and black and it runs on 35mm film.
i call it my diary.

anyway
there is no order to this
just a few miscellaneous thoughts
+ some iphone videos + some archives

i've always romanticized having a family business

When asked how they knew each other, the words “family,” “sister” and “best friend” left their lips like overhead trains seconds after the minute and curse words from neighboring courts. No parents in sight, they tossed soda cans and algebra under the stroller and took turns forgetting.
Queens, NY
Fall 2023

"We’d fight and spit chew into Big Gulp cups and have our hearts broken nightly."
- Oliver De La Paz

the bronx (left) jamaica (right)

happy pride 2025

Oren's pink house in Kensington, Brooklyn:

Oren
'give us a few veggies and we'll make you a meal.'

I looked in the mirror last night and noticed
creases the heating pad left on my chest;
how my body is gentle and porous
and asking it to be perfect
would be asking it to forget.

And what about this place?
The stories it has held?
The stories it tells
If we listen closely

The shadow on the wall
Where a picture used to hang
Scuffs on stone
Stains on ceiling
Dusty plastic fruits
That smell like candles
A table that wobbles
Tethered curtains
Old books
Empty chairs

Maybe the stories places
And empty spaces tell
Are nothing but our own
The ones we are reminded of
Or dream up
Based on what we didn’t know we knew
The ways we didn’t know we felt

i don't remember taking either of these photos
Firenze, 2023 (top), Florida, maybe 2019 (bottom)

Bella
we grew up together

we got our belly buttons pierced
made "first time" playlists,
and dreamed our innocence away

so many of my favorite memories are with you

italian love songs with Ghila

Jamaica, 2015

Jara & Wilke in Calabria 2023------>
They call themselves "Dutchies"
I love the way that they make oats
and enjoy silence together
They call the shade the "shadow"
They are always looking for shadows

wood + wildflowers

fairplay, CO with Dad
september 2024

we saw this moose --->
Dad just wanted to keep looking at it
every time I tried to walk ahead
he said,
"I could look at it forever"
"when am I going to see a moose again in my life?"
that made me sort of sad

i'm starting to share more of myself with people
i'm starting to believe that they mean it
when they say they love me

Calabria, Italy 2023
The love behind Librandi Gastronomia ~ Vincenzo + Petouilla
They told me their story through pictures and the few words we knew of each other’s language. Their love and laughter felt as alive as the memories they shared. They sent me home with meat, a six pack of Moka drink, and their address. These pictures will soon be on their way to Amantea.

you only realize how vulnerable a child is once you become an adult.

the past feels so far away

I'm always afraid of what they might tell me:

New Years in Cape Cod with Nora & Andy
we cooked leftovers and rang in the new year around a fire,
munching on melted Hershey bars
drinking red wine
over an untouched deck of cards

the above is in harwichport, MA
my special place

the below is my grandma, Mimi, getting married
my special person

Mimi, Papa, Larry & Della
probably somewhere in Southie
my grandpa looks like such a stud

“ugly is not a bad word to me; it sneaks up and delights me in the mirror
when i paint my eyebrows in the shape of the truth.” - @mxmorality

subway rides on the M Train when I lived in
Ridgewood, Queens
Fall 2023
age 25/26

i struggled a lot with my mental health during this time
i would ride the train back and forth from the city
in pain

when mental pain reaches a certain intensity,
it becomes physical

i knew i could not continue in that way for much longer

one weekend, i went back home to NJ
and collapsed into my mom's bed
i told her how much I felt like dying

together we found a mental health treatment center

i left the day after thanksgiving
and was there for 4 months

it's a little hard to look back at these photos

my train ride to Trader Joes when I lived in Highland Park, LA 2024
i loved it there

Lauryn
California
2024

singing with her felt like a return. to the land, to the trees, the wind, to each other.

we call the fire "grandfather"
we offer it cacao, strands of hair, prayers and blessings

we bang on deer skin drums that we heat up with grandfather's flame

we make up songs about the truth

we stayed up until morning
to welcome the sun
i drove home the next day
from Big Bear back to LA
I didn't even feel tired

her best friend took this picture of her.

i stood in Union Square and asked people to take a photo of what they loved -->

does this sort of love happen more than once?

two guys + a harmonica
Neptune, NJ 2025

I've been thinking about how temporary the body is.
while it is a living record of our experience here on earth, it is also just a little vessel we jump into to take us from shore to shore.
and at the end of the ride, we get out and say "thank you" as the ship stays out at sea, slowly transforming into something else entirely.

my goodbye letter to NYC
august 2, 2023
At age 19, I stood in line at Sunny and Annie’s Deli in the East Village at a silly hour of the night and, for the first time, understood what it means to be a “New Yorker.” As I waited for my sandwich, the full attention of the deli turned towards the door. A woman stood frozen, looking at Annie as tear piled in her eyes. When Annie noticed, she immediately closed the register and walked towards the woman. Everyone stared as the two hugged and years and miles melted away between them. The man accompanying the woman shyly explained that she used to live upstairs many moons ago.
I often think about that hug and the miraculous intimacy of two unlikely people who fell in love with each other’s souls in a wild, tiny bubble tourists call the “big” city… A place that somehow contains 8 million+ people, 472 subway stops and overtime begins to feel like a neighborhood to people from all over the world who make it their home- true “New Yorkers.” After 7 years+ in New York, almost every corner, bar, bridge, bodega and subway stop jars a memory of a very special time in my life where a family of strangers and friends helped me grow up.
I’ve spent the past few days moving out of what I think will be my last New York apartment- for, at least, the foreseeable future… It is a move I have thought about for some time now and, with its arrival, I am filled with a magical combination of nostalgia and excitement. I do not know exactly where I will be next - I know I will be close to New York (in NJ) for a little while longer as I figure out plans- but damn am I hungry to explore new lands, meet new people, clumsily learn new languages, embed myself in nature and, hopefully, continue to expand my comprehension of this worldly and spiritual life we’re all granted.
Thank you, New York, for holding some of my favorite memories and so many of my favorite people. One day, I’ll return to my corners of your city and maybe another young, curious soul will be affected by our reunion. Until then xx